During the public conference devoted to domestic violence which took place Friday June 1 at 17:30 p.m. at the CCISM, Dr. Vangeenderhuysen and Jean-Marie Thévenet, director of Trait d'Union, presented the ten main points. Here is a report.
1. Domestic violence exists everywhere in the world, in all walks of life, at all ages. They can occur at the beginning or the end of a relationship, and in all forms of couples.
2. We must differentiate marital conflict and domestic violence. It is indeed normal in a couple not to always agree on everything. But the conflict is resolved by speech, discussion and this is what is absent in the case of domestic violence where the only means of expression of the dominant versus the dominated is violence and anger.
3. There are several forms of domestic violence. They often start with verbal violence, then gradually come psychological violence to arrive at physical violence of varying severity.
4. Domestic violence is cyclical and always goes with a view to aggravation. The slap may end up one day with much larger blows. Before the violence there is a moment of tension which will create fear in the dominated.
5. Scientific evidence shows that little by little with the onset of violence there are cerebral changes that cause the victim to become anesthetized, in a state of amazement. So much so that she no longer feels the blows.
6. French law has a whole series of articles which relate to conjugal violence and has extended the concept of conjugal life to all that ex. Out of 189 countries 44 have no specific legislation on this subject. When a victim is hit by an ex-boyfriend, or vice versa, it remains domestic violence.
7. The child is always a victim. We must not believe that if the violence takes place outside their presence, they will not feel that there is something. They have an extremely fine perception of the reality which surrounds them.
8. The law of silence: to be silent is to participate. When there is family violence around you, and you keep quiet, you are a participant. It is very delicate because often the victim herself will be silent, she is ashamed.
9. The victim must remain at the center of what is going to happen. It is not the entourage, or this or that actor to decide what to do, it is she who must decide.
10. In Saint-Martin, in the absence of a dedicated emergency number like 3919 in mainland France, victims of domestic violence are invited to call the gendarmerie, where they can ask for help in the event of an assault, but also file a complaint or a handrail against their spouse. They can also be accompanied by the Trait d'Union association on 0690 888 288 and 0690 378 401 from Monday to Friday from 9 a.m. to 17 p.m.
(more details on www.soualigapost.com)
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